Reading time: 4–5 minutes In relationships, we can sometimes find ourselves caught in an exhausting cycle. One person seeks reassurance and closeness, while the other withdraws, becomes distant or needs more space. The more one pursues, the more the other retreats. Both may experience distress, yet neither seems able to Read more
What happens when a family debates immigration? A reflection on triangulation, family roles, IFS, differentiation and the difference between being right and needing to be right. · 4 min read
In this Family Systems series, we have explored how our families shape our inner world and how the roles we adopt can become part of our identity. We may become the responsible one, the peacemaker, the caretaker, the achiever, the invisible child or the rebel. These roles often begin as Read more
The roles we learn in our families can become deeply connected with identity. Family Systems, IFS and developmental psychology offer ways of understanding these roles while making space for greater autonomy and a deeper sense of Self.
Family Systems theory helps us understand how relationships, roles and emotional patterns from childhood can become part of our inner world—and how awareness can create greater freedom.
We often think of anxiety, people-pleasing, low self-esteem or relationship difficulties as personal problems. But some of the patterns that trouble us today began in the relationships and emotional atmosphere of our childhood. Family Systems thinking invites us to look at the wider picture: the roles we learned, the expectations Read more
When we enter a close relationship, we bring more than our adult selves. We also bring old fears, protective habits and expectations shaped by earlier relationships. Sometimes a disagreement in the present touches something much older within us. Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps us understand the different parts of our Read more
One of the hardest questions people can ask themselves about addiction is: “If I know this is hurting me, why do I keep doing it?” Part of us may want change, while another part returns to a behaviour despite the consequences. Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a compassionate way to Read more
Huile sur toile, 1930. Musée National d’Art Moderne, Paris. Donation Sonia Delaunay et Charles Delaunay 1964. Why Do We Sometimes Feel Like Different People? Have you ever felt torn between two choices? One part of you wants to move forward, while another feels frightened. Perhaps you know a relationship is Read more
I often talk about the twin-flame relationship with clients because it offers an important framework to talk about relationship dynamics with our partners. The twin-flame is not a ‘woo-woo’ concept as often understood but is a mirror relationship that reflects the individual’s relationship with their self, in terms of masculine Read more